How often do you feel stuck in your life, unable to move forward? The feeling of frustration becomes all-consuming and it’s all you can focus on. What if I were to tell you that there is a way to navigate your way beyond this barrier. Are you ready? Read on.
I often have people ask me what they need to do to make changes in their lives. Many of them have convinced themselves that all avenues have been exhausted and there is no other option other than the one they are living. “I’ve tried everything and nothing works.” However, on further questioning its revealed that the commitment to the desired change has been halted with the self-belief and expectation of failure.
Roadblocks are inevitable
This morning, I wrote in my journal about a very large boulder landing in a fast moving stream. An analogy of sorts. Does the water course stop moving forward completely? Or does it find a new way forward?
How often do we dismiss slow and gradual progress? In this takeaway society, we all want fast soul food. Nothing else satisfies. When expectations are not met quickly, disappointment is felt. And so often we neglect to acknowledge and cherish the small steps forward we make toward our goals.
Energy really does flow where the attention goes
When we focus on things not happening or on negative outcomes, this is all we tend to see. Our mindset becomes the lens through which we view our life. We stop recognising and exploring potential opportunities. We give up. There’s always a battalion of carefully constructed reasons for not pursuing these opportunities at the ready. Inner dialogue we’ve been “coaching” ourselves with. What if we were to alter this self-talk to a more positive form? Would the mindset and eventual outcome be different?
Energy flows where the attention goes
You’ve all heard the saying, “like attracts like”. Those of a like-minded spirit tend to find one another and build a bubble of experience that supports their view of the world.
In my own life I’ve found that when I’m going through a negative patch, I tend to attract people and experiences that mirror that mindset. However, when I elevate myself out of that psychological pit and into a more positive disposition, my world changes considerably. New inspirations surface. As I begin to write or talk about these insights, new opportunities start coming to the fore.
Not all of these opportunities are appropriate for me. However, they serve as signposts that indicate what previously unseen factors I need to to consider. They are a barometer of my mindset.
Don’t attach to outcomes
While planning my recent life change which has seen me relocate to another city and provide my dream business a platform to flourish, I’ve learnt the benefits of non-attachment to outcomes or events.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s okay to anticipate an exciting opportunity coming to fruition. However, we can get in our own way by limiting how this experience may manifest. Sometimes we just need to get our ducks lined up, take a step back and see how things pan out.
I initially found this quite challenging. People around me expressed concern that I was being frivolous in not having a work opportunity firmly bedded down before relocating. It was easy for me to get caught up in their fear. However, at the same time I feel a great deal of confidence in what I have to offer professionally and personally. I’ve always had a knack for applying my professional skillset to whatever work environment I find myself in.
I’ve been learning to put energy into what I want to achieve, to back myself, to trust my intuition and to let go of all expectation. The control freak side of me (which needs to preempt all outcomes so I have certainty and security) is learning that the energy previously spent worrying about outcomes, is more fruitfully spent in honing my vision and following up opportunities. I’m not just sitting back lazily awaiting an outcome. I’m still working hard. However, I’m able to objectively observe what is happening around me, rather than getting caught up in mouse wheel thoughts of fear and anxiety.
Feeling the fear
Self-sabotage is another fear-based problem for many of us. It might be grabbing something naughty to eat if we are eating healthier, or not going for that walk if we’re trying to improve our fitness, or choosing not to spend time practicing that new skill we’re trying to hone. What’s really stopping us from being the best we can be? If we honour ourselves and continuously improve ourselves, what will the outcome be?
I’ve reflected on these questions. The answer that keeps surfacing for me is that by not honouring myself I have an excuse for failure. And when that reason for failure is because I didn’t do the work, then it somehow distances me from the feeling that the cause of failure is because I’m somehow not good enough.
Making excuses for not living our best lives cripples us. It produces limitations on all levels, it stifles our personal growth, and fuels despondency.
When we move toward our goals and dreams, it creates momentum. Sometimes the movement is slow and gradual. However, when we have the intention and vision, and we do the work, great things start happening. When you do what makes you shine from the inside, others are drawn to that light.
As with anything really worth achieving, the greatest rush is when you are walking the path toward the destiny.
Never give up!