As I sit in The Peacock Dreaming Studio on its first morning of business, I’m reflecting on how this dream came to be. You see, having a special healing haven where I have my lotions and potions has always been on the cards. I nearly realised that dream in my mid twenties. However, my life was shunted on to a different path. Despite this, it always beckoned me from a distance.
It felt my life was on a conveyor belt in my twenties. It didn’t feel like this at the time. On reflection though, events and opportunities at that time had presented themselves effortlessly. Everything flowed with ease. I felt drawn to explore certain opportunities and doors opened. It wasn’t all smooth sailing though. Abrupt endings and heartache pushed me on to new paths not previously considered.
Life Challenges May Be Opportunities
It seems strange for such an intuitive person but I’ve always struggled with tapping into my knowing to help my own way forward in life. While I’ve always been able to provide insights for other people and help them through road blocks, I’ve struggled to find the clarity. It doesn’t help that I’m stubborn and blessed with a strong ego. I’m a tenacious bugger. I have a reputation for being persistent to the point of stupidity. While it’s been a blessing in some respects (I’ve achieved some awesome feats), it’s also been my downfall.
I haven’t always paid attention to my intuition, and subsequently my hand has been somewhat forced. I’m brought me to my knees, to a point of mindfulness where I slow down and pay attention. The most poignant experience occurred in my mid twenties.
I experienced a sort of early mid-life crisis. A mild kind of post-traumatic stress disorder. I battled old emotional wounds from my childhood that hadn’t yet been healed. My workplace at that time wasn’t conducive to my healing process. Additionally my emotional state was not conducive to professional undertaking the work they expected of me.
This enforced change led me out of my comfort zone. I now found myself working in freelance personal assistant roles while also seeking opportunities doing my remedial massage and aromatherapy work.
Change Is About Learning
In the nineties I moved to Sydney, and started my aromatherapy, counselling and remedial massage studies while working as an administration assistant. I was living week to week. I struggled with the high living costs of city living. To make matters worse, often clients didn’t pay. And unfortunately I’d bought into the guilt mentality that many healing facilitators have in respect to living profitably from their gifts.
Completely and utterly devoted to my healing work, I wanted to step out on my own and develop my own clinic space with my own vision. However, there was no balance in my life. Just work. I made myself available seven days a week. And I made myself exhausted and unwell.
I was an immature young adult with very little life experience back then. Sometimes change is thrust on us so important lessons (like taking responsibility and accountability for our actions) can be learned. This was my experience anyway.
My younger self needed to learn how to look after herself on many levels instead of with a poverty mindset, driving herself to utter exhaustion. Another change in circumstances taught me the art of grounding and nourishing myself. More recently, significant life changes have taught me to value and honour myself.
Change Is Also About Recognising It’s Time
I stepped away from my healing and psychic mediumship work for for over a decade while I delved into my project management career. I dabbled in readings and the occasional massage every now and then. However, I kept it very low key. Unfortunately, the perceived judgements of others screamed louder than my own inner voice of conviction.
The yearning for this work remained with me though. It reared its head every now and then, reminding me of what’s possible. While project managing earthquake repair projects in Christchurch, a healing clinic offered me a contract, after trading ‘swapsies’ with the resident remedial massage therapist who’d subsequently mentioned my skills to the owner of the clinic she worked for. I turned down the opportunity for one reason or another. The timing wasn’t right.
As years flew by, I felt like I was coming home to myself every time I did healing work for friends or acquaintances, I experienced that incredible love and vitality and each time I realised how much I missed it.
Finding My Way Home
The longing fed fantasies about one day coming back to my spiritual work. However, I was continually reminded that I’d already given this work a go and I’d failed. Additionally, there was also someone in my life telling me that I would be going backwards to a time of struggle. Each time the temptation arose to dip my toe into the healing facilitation world, I retreated with hesitation.
I discovered new ways of facilitating a sense of wellbeing for myself. I discovered the joys of photography during a troubled period, and gently returned to developing my mediumship. Everything seemed to lead me back to a path of healing facilitation. And on being presented with even greater life change (which saw naysaying influences leave my life), I rekindled my passion for aromatherapy.
I’ve been blessed with friends who’ve walked beside me on my journey. They’ve encouraged and cheered me on. Loudly.
About eight months ago, I mentioned to a friend that I could feel myself selling my aromatherapy products in a shop where I’d also be doing in-house consultations. Around this time, I started receiving emails from recruiters offering me the opportunity to apply for enticing Christchurch-based project management jobs.
As one project management opportunity would fall by the wayside due to timing or decision makers changing their minds, another role would enticingly be presented.
I spent a week in Christchurch exploring how it felt. I really liked what I experienced. At the time, my friend lamented that it would be perfect if a space near her shop would become available for rent as we knew we could create a magical experience.
With everything feeling right, I made the big decision to relocate from Nelson to Christchurch. While I had a rough game plan as to what I would be doing for work, I felt the desire to take a step back and observe mindfully the opportunities that were presenting themselves.
Within two weeks of relocating to Christchurch, that shop near my friend’s business miraculously became available for lease. Furthermore, with the very reasonable lease plus outgoings and it’s proximity to complementary businesses, the decision to proceed with the shop was a ‘no brainer’.
The Peacock Dreaming Studio came to life in just two weeks with a focus on developing a space in New Brighton which inspires growth and healing with the intention of inspiring and motivating others to be the best version of themselves they could possibly be.
Never Give Up On Your Dreams!
When we’re meant to do something or be with someone, it has a way of finding a path back into our lives. Over the past twenty years, I’ve learned that the lessons and the heartache is not wasted. It’s made me a stronger, more resilient and focussed woman. I’m also a better psychic medium and healing facilitator because of those experiences.
I’m sitting here in The Peacock Dreaming Studio in Brighton Mall on this fresh May morning realising that everything has led to the creation of this space and experience. Magic is happening!
Never ever give up on your dreams, folks!