Musical Mindfulness ~ Anne McCormack

Remaining in the present moment is challenging when you’re going through a stressful experience that is full of uncertainty.

It’s been tempting for me to chase reassurance and insight as to what the future holds. When I tune into my inner guidance, I’m constantly reminded the key to clarity is to always come back to the present moment. The only insight as to what the future holds is a feeling of calm and a knowing that there will be love and joy.

I’ve found this irritating at times. Particularly as time is ticking by rather quickly and I need to get my arse into gear. I’m constantly reminded I’m not getting any younger. It’s not like I’m still in my thirties with loads of time to get things back on track. And with this I oscillate between anxiety and that strange sense of calm I mentioned earlier.

When I’m anxious, I’m stuck in a negative thought cycle. It’s like I’m drowning in a pool of mud. I’m constantly being sucked down to its depths as I claw my way to the surface for air. Quite frankly, it’s terrifying. The sense of calm appears when I’m able to breathe again and see the situation for what it is.

Deactivating Cyclical Thoughts

I’ve discovered during the past few weeks there is power in distracting myself with activities that bring me back into the moment.

It’s not that I’m wasting time. It’s like the universe is magically scattering breadcrumbs to guide me toward a sense of nirvana and purpose. I am following the trail and the surprises are delighting me.

I’m no stranger to passion. Lord only knows I am blessed with many pastimes that light me from the inside – nature photography and writing being two such activities very close to my heart. However, what I’ve been experiencing lately is a little different. I’m finding my personal value in a new and very unexpected way.

A few months ago, I started taking singing lessons to find my voice. I’ve never been able to sing high notes. I open my mouth and nothing comes out. However, through attending these lessons the teacher has shown me my voice has musical value.

Finding My Voice

From week to week, I’ve mustered courage to stand in front of the class and have fun with my voice. My spare time is filled with finding songs I can sing and practising them. As I sing my heart out, I feel myself opening up and becoming more expansive. My spirit lifts and so does my personal vibration. My capacity to feel the environment around me is deepening. There is a knowing that everything will be okay. I don’t need to battle my way through. I’m encouraged to feel and respond with kindness and compassion.

Confirmation

Those bread crumbs I spoke of earlier, well they have manifested through inspiration.

My teacher suggested I either learn to play the acoustic guitar or find someone to accompany me. I asked myself, “how am I going to achieve this?” A couple of weeks later, I earn a reward at work and on visiting the local music shop I find myself using this reward to partially fund the purchase of an acoustic guitar.

Two weeks after that, I found myself a guitar tutor who is willing to teach me the songs I enjoy singing.

My Dad who has has spent his retirement years playing the keyboard and singing for people around Adelaide, has been listening to me excitedly sharing my newfound passion and excitement. We’ve discovered we are singing the same songs. With that realisation, we’re now planning a very special Christmas when I visit Adelaide with my guitar in hand.

New Goals

Sometimes new beginnings take us by surprise. When we focus on the possibilities and pay attention to the moment (rather than our mental dramas), new opportunities for healing and joy reveal themselves.

When our life changes unexpectedly and we are left floundering, it’s easy to place joy and connection on the back burner as we rebuild. I’m not prioritising my passions over the personal responsibility I have to get my life back on track. To the contrary, allowing myself the time and opportunity to explore is providing me with a source of healing and is about me honouring myself.