Have you ever thought when you are feeling vulnerable, cringing at being seen in your nakedness without your masks and barriers, how wonderful, powerful and inspirational you are? Are you wondering what the heck this has to do with onions? Well, I believe that the journey toward emotional wellbeing is like peeling the layers back of an onion. Just when you think you have dealt with your emotional baggage, something triggers a deep emotional response within you. You remain on life’s threshing floor, experiencing emotional pain. All the while, you learn, you express and you shed yet another layer.
Twenty-five years or so ago I was just starting out as an aromatherapist and metaphysical healing practitioner. Within the spiritual community there were a few experienced practitioners who tut-tutted at others for wearing expressing their vulnerabilities. There was a rush to quieten the expressiveness of those speaking of their sorrow, anger, frustrations and despair by saying things like,“Your words and thoughts are creating your reality.” “Come on, don’t say that!”
The acceptance and compassion of another’s expression of pain was non-existent. In essence, these spiritually-minded people were unintentionally imploring those in pain to bury down the thoughts and feelings of sorrow and anger. They confused the Universal Law of Attraction with self-expression of feelings. A pervading belief that expressing these emotions and feelings would manifest a pain greater than what was already being experienced. In reality, self-professed “spiritually enlightened” practitioners, don’t realise that expression holds the key to finding some inner peace, understanding and compassion.
Expressive practitioners who tread along a path full of lessons and experiences (like myself) have often felt chastised for our humanness. Twenty-five years ago anxiety, depression and stress was not something to divulge. There was stigma associated with it. It decreed weakness.
Healing Facilitators Have A Healing Process Like Everyone Else
Within the spiritual community I still hear from time to time people saying that if you are assisting others in their healing process within a professional capacity, you need to have dealt with your stuff. I don’t know about you, but for me dealing with my emotional and mental stuff is a continuing life journey. It is crucial to my emotional wellbeing. Why does a healing facilitator need to strive for a guru status – or a status of an enlightened being? Are we not human? Most people I have met who profess to being “enlightened” seem to have layers of buried, unresolved issues they continue to ignore and deny.
You need to exercise personal responsibility for your own emotional wellbeing. Psychotherapists and psychologists proactively engage in ongoing therapy for themselves to keep themselves in check because we are all like onions. Our personal emotional and mental healing process often takes place in layers, triggering issues when dealing with others. They reflect what we are dealing with within ourselves.
During this past week I received a message from a lady in Christchurch which meant a lot to me. The message read:
“Hello sweets loving your wisdom of words on youtube you are a blessing… I love how you hide nothing your [sic] so real it is very refreshing to find someone as you thank you ..”
Embracing Your Life Experiences Is Crucial To Emotional Wellbeing
Ever since I can remember, I have felt that my personal power lies within my own life experiences. It is the feelings I have felt, how I have dealt with matters, and the lessons I have learnt. Not all of my experiences have been pristine and holy. In some instances there has been remorse and shame. These experiences though have been woven into the fabric of my being and have helped to shape the human being I have become. In acknowledging, accepting and showing compassion toward this part of me, I am also able to demonstrate compassion to others who struggle and act out. The ugly and troublesome becomes a gift, not something shameful. It transmutes our lead into gold. The feedback above reinforces that for me. Not only that, every incidence of letting go is improving my overall emotional wellbeing.
And you know what? This is how this healing stuff fundamentally works here on the earth plane among us human beings. Each and every one of us touches hearts and inspires another in ways that sometimes we cannot even comprehend. It is a reciprocal process. There are those who sit upon their pedestal judging others for being good, bad, of a lower vibration, of a higher vibration, questionable – this list goes on. Each and every one of us, irrespective of “the label” these pedestal dwellers bestow upon us, are facilitating understanding and healing within each other in some way, shape or form (I could go on about this for ages, but I have a point I need to make).
It Is Okay To Feel What You Feel When You Feel It
This past week I read a blog written by a friend; a gifted healing facilitator; expressing her brokenness whilst in a state of grieving for a failed relationship. Her vulnerability touched my soul. As I read her blog I felt compassion toward her and I felt previously unexpressed grief for aspects of my own failed relationships. In that moment, another layer of my onion peeled back. As the layer fell away, release and healing took place. In my heart there was compassion for Justine, and also gratitude for her being who she is as she is.
Depression, sadness, grief, anxiety, remorse, anger, frustration – The emotions you experience in the moment are not shameful. Expressing these things is not about a negative mindset that needs positivity (although self-indulgent wallowing in victim mentality is a different matter altogether). Experiences need to be grieved. This is important for your emotional wellbeing. We need to feel and the organic letting go process needs to happen once the emotion is released. It is then that the sun comes out to shine, and we are able to smile once again.
Be proud of who you are (I know that is sometimes hard to do). It is okay to feel how you are feeling in the moment. In being, we are always going to impact others. It is inevitable. It is okay. As I mentioned earlier, we are all like onions. We all have layers that peel away when the time is right to let go. In expressing our feelings and being, we can sometimes help this process within others.
Anne McCormack is a New Zealand-based Photographer, and Spiritual Healing Facilitator. Anne’s first book was Lovitude: Trying To Calm The Monkey Mind. Her second book is the award-winning, Peacock Dreaming: The Wisdom Of Flowers recently awarded the B.R.A.G.Medallion.
Lovitude: Trying To Calm The Monkey Mind is available from Anne at www.thepeacockdreamingblog.com
Feature image courtesy of Taken via pixabay.